Friendship Never Ends

Have you had a friend whom you can talk to about anything, care about you and you know you can truly depend on?

Well, I have...

Let's call him Frank.

I got to know him from our common friend over dinner few years ago, and since he is a very chatty person, and I'm actually not, we didn't start our friendship on the right foot.

On our first meeting, we exchanged number and IM right away, then later that night, he pinged me and just couldn't stop talking and asking questions to the point that I was very annoyed.

However, since we have common friends, we sometimes met for group dinner or outing together, and somehow his chatty-ness grew on me. I just stopped feeling annoyed and actually enjoyed his company.

But not until I reached a low point in my life that we got very close. It was the time when I felt like I was totally lost and had meaningless relationships just for the sake of not being alone. We hadn't met for quite a while and when he called and asked me out for dinner, I just said yes.
During dinner, I shared the bitterness that I had been feeling and he was very sympathetic. Without any hesitation he invited me to join him with his group of friends in weekly outing.
Weeks passed by, and every week, on every group outing, he really took care of me so that I wouldn't feel left out. He was always by my side, and often checked on me to make sure I could blend in. When he saw me alone or look confused, he would come to me right away to accompany me.

Thanks to Frank, I got to meet new friends, enjoyed every outing, and was just simply happy.

Our friendship was getting closer. Almost after every outing we went together, we took the same train together, walked to his block, and he would wait for the bus with me at the bus stop. Often times we would chat nonstop at the bus stop and we then just let few of my buses pass by.

When I moved to a new rental house, he helped me packing and carried few unused stuff to Salvation Army with me. And since we then lived in different area, there was no longer bus stop chat sessions, but we made it up by having long phone calls at night.

I thought I found a true friend in him. A friend that would always be by my side no matter what. Who I cared for and he cared for me too.

That was until I felt that I might have developed certain feelings for him...

I was scared... terrified that my feelings would change our friendship. So I went to 2 girl friends to ask for their opinions. Both of them know Frank and one of them happened to be someone whose opinions I always found sensible and I could agree with.The 2 of them encouraged me to tell Frank about my feelings, be honest since that was the base of any friendship.

Then I did. I told him.
He was shocked, he thought I was having feelings for my colleague at work.
I told him that I totally understood if he didn't feel the same way, I just wanted to be honest and I hoped that we could still be good friends.

Yeah... I suppose I was such a foolish to expect things wouldn't change between us.

We still met up at our group outing, but I could sense that he was avoiding me. His attitude towards me was cold and distant. Every time I tried to start a conversation or joke around with him, but his reactions were stale. It went on until the point that I thought I had to confront him, I had to do something to salvage our friendship since I was the one who ruined it.

At one evening after our group outing, we walked together to the bus stop near his place, and I asked him what was going on with him, with our friendship. He was trying to changing the topic and even avoiding eye contacts. I was sitting on a bench, and he was pacing in front of me, uncomfortable with the topic and having troubles spitting out his true feelings.
I refused to give up and asked him to just be honest and tell me, that I could accept anything he would say. Finally he said it, I traumatized him, I betrayed him, especially after what he had told me about his close friend who also ended up having feelings for him. Then he also said that with this incident with me, he wouldn't be close friends with any girls anymore, including me. And also that for now, he couldn't be civil with me and he needed time until we could be friends again.

I was devastated... but I could understand how he felt. I cared too much for him that all I wanted was just for him to go through this without any fuss and get on with his life even though I wouldn't be in it.

So since that day, I slowly backed out from our group, until I ended up never joining any of their outings and they were tired of asking why I didn't. I still keep in touch with few girls that I was able to get close with, and only with them I told the story about what happened with me and Frank.

For few years after the incident, I got to meet with Frank few times and we managed to be friendly with each other. I could still feel the distance he was putting between us and it saddened me every single time. Deep down inside, I still wish that things hadn't changed, that we were still best friends, that our friendship didn't end.

The memories with him inspired me to draw the typography poster above. The poster represents my never-fulfilled hope of my friendship with Frank, and also a sweet inspiration for every one out there who has a beautiful friendship... :)

Click here for my Etsy page!