When I first started pole dancing, I had no reservation in telling people (including my family) about it. I always got somewhat positive responses from them, ranging from staring in disbelief to "Wow, I don't know you have it in you!". I am proud of my 'Badges of Honor' a.k.a my bruises and told my friends how challenging pole dancing is and how it is good to improve strength and flexibility. I would then do my bits to lure them into trying for trial class. :p
Then there is my mom...
I came from a close knitted family, and since my dad passed away, I became closer to my mom. So I have this habit of telling her things, and that included my new found love for pole dancing. Her response at first was positive. She said something like how it was a good exercise, and that I should keep doing it since I have been enjoying my class very much.
But then, there came a day when I told her that though the class was getting harder, I want to keep doing pole dancing since I really like it, and she shut me up, said that pole dancing was not important and that I should stop and focus on other stuff instead.
I was kind of heart broken. She used to be my loyal supporter, but it turns out she is not into me doing pole dancing. No matter what I say, my words couldn't reach her, and so I choose to 'filter' my pole related stories. I figure that maybe she is worried about the possibility of me getting injured and so since that moment on I only tell her about when my classes are, but no more details, and unsurprisingly, she no longer asks a lot about it, unlike her usual habit of wanting to know details of everything.
And then there is this guy... let's just call him Stan.
I was (and probably still am) in love with him, and I wanted to share about pole dancing to him, expecting that he could be supportive or even say encouraging words. Oh silly me, expectations never lead to anything good.
This what happened, I told him that I am taking pole dance lessons, and his exact response was "when a girl tells me that she does pole dancing i think that she is either a stripper or that she looks for the attention of all the guys around her".
Whew... If I wasn't (am not) in love with him, I would tell it to his face that he is such a narrow-minded guy. In reality, I was shocked, didn't expect that kind of words from him...
So then the latest one, there is Fred...
Fred is someone I considered a good friend. There was a time when we were so tight that we called each other almost every night. Though we are no longer as close as we used to, I still think of him as someone I can truly trust.
Today he came over to visit my flatmates who just had their baby. We managed to chat for a little while and at one point, my flatmate teased him to try out my x-pole in my room. His response was "What do you think I am? A stripper???". My flatmate then teased me saying, "hey, he just called you a stripper!". Though my lips were smiling, I wasn't feeling good.
All in all, I got burned bad by people I consider matter to me.
I am aware that there is this "stripper stigma" when it comes to pole dance. I just didn't expect that Stan and Fred, whom I thought were quite modern and open-minded, could say such a thing. On both occurrence, I was too shocked to even come with an argument.
Though what they said do not make me waver or give up pole, the shock is still there. It is mostly because they were two people I considered "important" for me and their unexpected negative response hurt more.
And the latest occurrence with Fred kind of makes me think to not blurt out the fact that I am taking pole dance so easily to just anyone, especially those whose opinions I consider matter. I should take my time to explain what pole dance really is, and not just let them think that pole dancer = stripper.
Wish me luck!
I also wish that people will be more aware of pole dancing as a sport, a challenging one I must say, and not always associate it with stripper.
No comments:
Post a Comment