I have been a non-permanent resident of my hometown since I finished my high school - since then I would only come home 3-4 times a year and stay for perhaps a week or so.
During that short period visiting my dearest hometown, I am bound to meet some people - mostly my relatives, or my friends and my mom's friends. And strangely enough, their first question (or more like statement) they come up with is very similar, something along the line of:
- You've become fat!
- You gained weight!
- You are so 'big' now!
- and so on and so on...
Then after we pass the first round small talk of how I've become fatter each time they see me, here comes round two:
- Are you married?
- Where's your boyfriend/husband?
- Why aren't you married yet? or why are you still single?
- Don't be so picky in choosing a spouse!
- When are you going to give your mom a grandkid?
- Your poor mom is getting old, go get married soon!
And let's say I was married, then the questions cum statements will be something like these:
- How many kids you got?
- If none: go give your mom a grandkid!
- If I got one: when are you having your second kid?
- If I got two: when are you giving another baby sister/brother for your kids?
- .... basically it's that kind of never ending question that we just die to not hear and yet we will always do...
FYI, these questions are only getting more and more intense during holiday seasons.
What I am still a little annoyed, is that why can't they start with something positive instead of criticizing?
Like... Oh you've become prettier! - which I know I have compared to when my face was surrounded by mountains of baby fat.
Or... if they are not capable of saying something positive, then say something neutral like: you looked so different from last time I saw you!
But anyway, words of my wise mom is that those people have nothing nice to say and some people are just jealous, so better leave it at that and not let it bother me much.
Well, this is my experience as 4th generation of Chinese Indonesian family... Although I heard that my fellow Filipina/Indonesian/Malaysian friends have similar experience, I wonder if my Western counterparts also experience this?
